The Universe is Queerer Than We Can Suppose

It was Pride weekend in San Francisco. The Pride parade was on Sunday. By most accounts it went well. I didn’t go, though I’ve been in years past. It’s quite a scene to behold, and it something everyone should witness at least once in their lives.

In a funny way, or I suppose a queer way, the weekend’s main event came to me instead of me going to it. I went to have lunch on Saturday at my favorite gastropub in town. I don’t lunch there often enough. It’s a great place with fine food. I sat at a sparsely populated bar next to some other folks and went about ordering a delicious PBR and sandwich.

Not long into my lunch, the man sitting next to me was talking with the bar tender and other patrons. He introduced the other man sitting next to him as his husband. I always do a double take, mentally anyway, when a man refers to his husband. It’s not that I object, in fact same sex marriage is something I whole heartedly support. It is just that we never had it when I was growing up and due to Prop H8 in California it is still pretty unusual. Fortunately for these two, they married during the short time it was legal in California, and Prop H8 can’t arbitrarily annul these unions even as it arbitrarily banned any new ons from taking place. barf Yes, we Left Coast Californians were for it before we were against it. /barf.

About two weeks ago, the Prop H8 trial wrapped up in Federal court. Plaintiffs Kristin Perry and Sandra Steir represented by the dynamic legal duo of David Boies and Ted Olsen, formerly on opposite sides of the Bush v. Gore 2000 Supreme Court case, brought suit against the State of California to overturn Prop H8. If you followed Perry vs. Schwarzennegger, I hope you were struck by the overall lack of a case brought by Prop H8′s defenders. They tried political instead of substantive arguments, brought weak witnesses, and didn’t submit evidence to substantiate their claims. Is H8 a paper tiger?

If only one of those H8′ers who voted against gay marriage were a fly on the wall of the gastropub where I ate with a gay married couple sitting next to me. There were only a few other patrons at the bar and the conversation rolled along happily. Inevitably it got a little meta about gay vs. straight, gender roles, etc., but it was good natured and didn’t dwell there. There was much more to talk about in World Cup disappointment, local politics and women’s volleyball on the TV. Everyone finished with their drinks and lunch, then together and separate sauntered off. This is what life is like when you’re willing to share your world instead of imposing your world on others.

Maybe our world isn’t just what we think it is. Maybe we can’t even think as big as what our world would take to think about.  Maybe when we’re thinking about the world, we’re only thinking about our model of the world and not the world itself. Maybe the world is queerer than we can suppose. No time for poetry but exactly what is, Kerouac said. Seems a bigger challenge than we give it credit for.